NCH Statistics: 1970-2009 (Click image to view graph enlarged)
Adapted from For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage by J. DeParle and S. Tavernise (New York Times, 2.17.2012)
“It used to be called illegitimacy. Now it is the new normal. After steadily rising for five decades, the share of children born to unmarried women has crossed a threshold: more than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage.”
Adapted from Are You With the Right Mate? by Rebecca Webber (Psychology Today, 1.1.2012)
Are you with the right mate? Is there some MORE right person waiting for you somewhere? And if you could find that one special person, would you then, finally, find fulfillment and happiness?
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Although we cannot always anticipate or avoid situations that we know have the power to undermine relationships (such as chronic exposure to non-marital stress — medical, financial, and so forth), much can be noticed and considered when we set out to make our choice to commit for the long haul. We know, for example, that couples who share core values and goals have a greater chance for a happy long-term relationship.
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Based on Elizabeth Bernstein’s Wall Street Journal article, Nagging: Meet the Marriage Killer
Once again – there is good and bad news. Starting with the latter….
Nagging — the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it, and both become increasingly annoyed — is a toxic communication issue that is one of the leading causes for discord and divorce. We nag when we feel we can’t get what we want from our partner, and we keep on asking in the hopes it will happen. A vicious cycle is set in place: The irritated recipient of the nagging, feeling scolded like a little boy, withdraws in protest, inviting the nagger to nag some more.
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In a recent Science Times article in the New York Times, Richard A. Friedman, professor of clinical psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, explores a growing trend in academic circles to view depression as a “natural” condition that, like ordinary sadness, may provide evolutionary advantages. Separate studies by psychologists Paul W. Andrews (U. of Virginia) and Joseph P. Forgas (U. of New S. Wales) suggested that something about sadness might improve analytical reasoning and the capacity for critical, accurate detection of deceptive communication.
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A new book by Karl Pillemer, entitled 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans (Hudson Street Press), offers practical advice from more than 1,000 older Americans from different economic, educational and occupational strata about how to conduct a successful and satisfying life. The book has been named to the list of “Best Self-Help Books of 2011″ by Library Journal.
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Children who misbehave usually do so for a purpose, taught U.S. psychiatrist and educator Rudolf Dreikurs. Misbehaving children and teens are acting out a feeling or need that they are unable to convey or express. Such a need might be: a need for attention when s/he is feeling ignored or neglected; a resentment over being controlled; a fear that s/he is not loved or lovable; or a feeling of inadequacy or helplessness.
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Artwork: Vivienne Flesher, NYTimes, 1.1.12
The average American spends at least eight and a half hours a day in front of a screen of one sort or another. The average American teenager sends or receives 75 text messages a day. Many of us are finding ourselves controlled by the many time-saving devices that have also considerably expanded our lives.
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This blog aims to share interesting items or insights I come across in newspapers, books and magazines that may be helpful in dealing with everyday personal and interpersonal challenges. It is not intended as a substitute for individual or couples counseling.